How I cope with an Anxiety relapse..

Sometimes I get days like today when I feel like I’ve gone back to square one. Like all of my hard work is pointless because my mind doesn’t feel healthy today. The familiar feelings of dread are in the pit of my stomach and the thoughts are rushing through my head thick and fast.

Learning to live and cope with anxiety is challenging and it’s a journey. The good thing is, as time goes on and the more relapses I experience, the more I learn about how to deal with them and I’ve found because of this, usually each one tends to pass more quickly than the last.

First thing I do is not panic that I am feeling Anxiety again. This is an absolute golden rule I have learnt to live by with anxiety. Fear and panic fuel anxiety, so the minute you start to worry the worse your symptoms will get. Ever had a panic attack? Yeah, you’ll know what I mean. I understood this once I read ‘At last a life- panic and anxiety free’ by Paul David. I have recommended this book in a previous blog post and I will mention it again. And again. For the rest of my life because I truly feel like this book saved me (I will link it below!).

As an anxiety sufferer, I am very much aware that one symptom of anxiety is over thinking and catastrophizing. I tend to do this when the familiar thoughts and feelings of anxiety occur. Rather than seeing them for what they actually are; just a thought or a feeling, my mind and body go into fight or flight mode and my mind will start to try and ‘fix’ it. I’ve learnt to just ‘let it be’ rather than attempting to fix it or change it because I am so much happier this way and it also breaks the thought cycle. I am not in a constant mental battle and that is so relieving. A bad day is a bad day, not a bad life!

If my symptoms seem to be lingering around for a while with little or no improvement or I’m finding them unmanageable, I try to recognise if there could be something that is triggering it and 9 times out of 10, there is! I have a therapist that I have monthly sessions with; one thing I do if I’m having a relapse is up my sessions to weekly until I’m feeling more stable. I can’t explain how much therapy has helped me. Anxiety has made me somewhat an introvert so talking about how I feel does not come naturally to me as much as it used to; however, I find having someone completely platonic and actually educated on anxiety and all of its nasty little symptoms is the most relieving, refreshing feeling ever!

Another goodie I’ve learnt is to ‘trust your body’s healing process’. We have the most incredible, wonderful bodies. When we graze our knee our bodies form a scan by the blood clotting, which then heals. When I relapse, I’ve realised that it is what my body needs to do at this moment in time. I might not like it but I need to give my mind the time and space that it needs. Anxiety is a condition
and once you understand your symptoms it all becomes a lot less scary! I try not to fight against the symptoms, but instead to go with it and just let my body do it’s thing.

Lastly and very importantly, I do not let myself feel ashamed. There have been times in my life when I have hated myself and truly thought that I wasn’t worth that much. That only added to my pain and made my life a lot harder than it needed to be. I make sure I am kind to myself and take extra care of myself during these relapses; an extra massage here, a new dress there. Come on, I am worth it 😉 I also inform my loved ones on what’s going on with me. It is good for them to know as it provides me with a whole support system.

I truly hope this helps someone and please remember my door is always open! Let’s smile, we got this!

Love Yasmine x

https://www.amazon.co.uk/At-Last-Life-Paul-David/dp/0956948103

How to plan a Hen Do

Hello lovelies!

So, I thought I would do a little post to help any fellow brides out there or anyone who's planning a loved ones hen for them. I'm getting married in December this year (AHHHH!) so I'm currently about halfway through planning my hen, along with some help from my Maid of Honour Laura and my mum- I'm a bit of a control freak/perfectionist when it comes to things like this- I want to make sure things are how I imagine and to make it as special for everyone as I can. Obviously some elements of it are a surprise to me, but I love planning and using my imagination so I find it difficult to keep away hahaa!

 Planning a hen can be daunting- firstly, my friends and I struggle to organise a blooming cup of tea together- so finding a date or dates when everyone is free would be a good place to start. I would start this as far in advance as possible; this gives people a chance to make any arrangements they may need to such as booking off annual leave, arranging childcare etc.

Deciding what you want to do..
So what my mum did was make a Facebook group with all the hens in it, explaining that we were beginning to plan the hen. This is great cos it creates a space where everyone can throw some ideas around and keep up to date. My mum listed some possible places where I wanted to go for my hen; I also decided very early on that I wanted a weekend away rather than a night out- much more my style! I would suggest having a base idea then allowing everyone to elaborate and make suggestions- 8 minds are better than one! I'd also pick somewhere which is relative to what you want to do on your hen- for example, If shopping and good restaurants is your thing, go for a city! If it's sightseeing, somewhere like central London where there are plenty of landmarks and sights to explore. If you want a crazy night out, Ibiza or Newcastle would do the trick.

Decide who you are going to invite..
For me personally, I've decided that on my Hen I want my close friends (who are all my bridesmaids, including my auntie!) and my mum. The advantage of this is that everyone already knows each other and have done for years. To me, I want my hen to be a weekend away tbo remember with all my nearest and dearest and that is the best thing I could possibly ask for. The fact that everyone that is on the Hen is in the wedding party is also a big plus! We can plan, get excited and everyone has a role! I've also got quite a tight circle- everyone that I've invited is truly everyone that I want there. There are 2 others that I would love there but sadly can't make it- my sister in law Nicole has just give birth to my little niece and she will only be 3 months old on the hen! The other person is my mother in law to be, June; however much I would love her there, I know a weekend away isn't the kind of thing she would enjoy and has a lot of stuff to tend to at her home. I am arranging separate little Hen days with them instead so we can still celebrate together 😊 I would strongly suggest when you are deciding who to invite that you make the decision yourself. Remember this is your Hen party and your wedding so you should have your way!

Deciding on Accomodation and Transport..
The accomodation has been the biggest and one of the most important factors to me whilst planning my Hen! As I mentioned earlier, I'm not a massive clubbing girl- I want more of a chilled out, takeaway and prosecco Hen! This meant that the accommodation had to tick all the boxes for me; look cosy, have enough sofa space for us all to films, chat and socialise, have comfy beds and a good location with easy access to public transport. Thankfully I've managed to find this, but not without hours of scouring through the internet for the perfect place! When your searching for accommodation, a big tip I would recommend is looking on Air B&B (I will link it down below!). It is a great website where people rent out their houses, flats, apartments etc for great prices! It's easy to use and you can edit the search to suit your needs. There is a description of each property and reviews from other air b&b users that have stayed there. Everyone who uses it are safe; all payments are protected and air b&b do lots of checks (you can read more about it on air b&b's safety page). As well as my Hen accommodation, I've booked accommodation through air b&b for my last 2 holidays to Thailand and our upcoming honeymoon accommodation!

Plan Activities and book things in advance..
Once you've planned the kind of things you want to do on your Hen do, research, research, research! You can get so much inspiration from blogs, websites, recommendations from friends, looking on trip adviser- the sources are endless! There are even dedicated websites which actually do the planning for you- my brother is currently planning his best friends stag using one called Chilli Sauce- il link it below! Book things in advance to ensure you get your places and this also creates some structure to the Hen too. Personally, I'm not packing too much into the weekend as I want some freedom as well  but I've got our final night dinner restaurant booked, flights, accommodation and a couple of other things! One thing to stay mindful of is your budget and keep it affordable for all of your hens, which brings me into my next point..

Payment Plan!
If your hen party/weekend is costing more than your average person can afford in a lump sum, a good way to get around this is to arrange and make a payment plan. This has been such a good way to ensure everybody can come to the hen and it ensures nobody is panicking trying to get money together last minute or making themselves skint! I told everyone the cost per person and divided that into 5, so it will be paid off over the duration of 5 months. A lot of my hen’s have commented on how easy it has made it and they haven't felt like they are low on money which is great!

Lovely Little Extra's..
Sometime's just a couple of extra little details makes all the difference in the world. Whilst planning your hen, be sure to leave some money in the budget to have some lovely little extra's that your hen's will love! I've used some of the budget to purchase personalised t shirts with all of our names and wedding party roles on the back- a lovely little keepsake that can be used afterwards and will be a reminder of the hen do antics. Along with these, I've purchased sash's, a couple of drinking games and some silly selfie props! All cheap items which just help make a hen a Hen.

I really hope this post has helped you out, happy hen planning!

Love Yasmine x

Air BnB- https://www.airbnb.co.uk/
Personalised hangers made by Wiggles & Boo on Facebook